I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
