she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Every concussion has its silver lining
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
