Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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