absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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