You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My ass is underappreciated
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