There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
