girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
