well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
