so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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