i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
