Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
