yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You were trust falling into bushes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
