Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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