I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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