You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
