I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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