I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
