I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
