In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
