Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
