I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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