I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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