dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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