hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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