I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
