we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
