my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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