u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
