So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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