Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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