i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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