i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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