Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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