i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
