sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
