Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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