she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
