Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
