Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
