Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
