i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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