he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize