Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
