remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
is it fun? or sober?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
