The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
