soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
