I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
