Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
