Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
