I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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