when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
