How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
