You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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